Written by: Patti
Page 2
The Adventures of HWA
"On the Other Side" 19
by Patti L.
(c) 1999
"What NERVE!!!! Called
me a 'warthog'. Said the 'W' in
my name stands for 'Warthog'. How
insulting can you get!!!! No
respect here. I get no respect. Arrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!!
Just pisses me off! Makes
me so damn mad!!! Dammmmmmn mad! God's apostle being treated like a
warthog. Whadda ya mean at least
I'm feeling SOMETHING???? Whadda
ya mean the 'love of many has waxed cold' thanks to my doctrines??? You blaming me for a bunch of lost
sheep!??? Heh heh? You are... Oh.
Over burdened them... caused their circuits to overload... caused them
to shut down emotionally... caused them to stuff all their feelings... caused
them to suffer posttraumatic stress disorder?
What the HELL is that? So
you're telling me that when they break free of my mind control, their emotions
thaw out? Then they feel ALL OF THEIR FEELINGS at once and the pain of being DECEIVED by the 'one
and only true church on the face of the earth' and then all their past
feelings they never dealt with are 'in their face'?? And who made you the expert? Who are you? Am I supposed to know you?
"No, we never met? Then
how do you know so much about me? A
friend of Patti who was never sucked in by the Worldwide Church of God? So whadda ya want with me, bucky boy? The name's Mike? You don't like being called 'bucky boy' just because you have
native blood? So you're not of
the pure Aryan race like I am, huh? Stop
laughing. I don't think you're
one bit funny!!! So you say you
lowered yourself to come here and look me up?
Oh. Just the vibrations,
not the integrity. I've heard
THAT before. So you told Patti I
was just one of those "Holy Rollers" and tried to pursuade her to
stay away from me? Told her about
the Great Spirit and the powers of the four directions? Pagan crap, huh and she wouldn't buy
it!!! Not pagan crap? Same Great Spirit that created ME? Same four powers Christians call the
archangels? Oh? Same stuff, different lingo, huh? So she couldn't understand because she
was raised Catholic? The Great
Mother of Harlots religion I always say!!
Catholic Church taught her that anybody who commits suicide goes
straight to hell? I always taught
that hell was the grave. Not what
the Catholics meant?
"So when you died she couldn't stand the thought that you'd gone
to hell? Couldn't believe it
because you were so spiritual? Talked
to her sister's ministers from the Worldwide Church of God and they told her
you were asleep in the grave and would be resurrected after a thousand years
and be given the opportunity to learn of God's truth then? Yeah, that's the way I taught them. Was ok for her to think that while she was in Worldwide but
when she left she realized we'd lied about EVERYTHING else and she had to know
where you really were!!! Ha, I'll
be that kept her busy!!! She went
back to your people and learned your beliefs?
Then she studied all the other possibilities from secular books... the
ones I wouldn't let anybody read! Read
Emanuel Swedenborg's prolific works? Yeah,
he was a 'wind bag' too. Ha ha...
"So you killed yourself because she joined Worldwide? You didn't kill yourself? Everybody thought you did? Somebody just as bigoted as me put an
end to your life? Wasn't suicide. She thought it was for many years
until a spiritualist told her otherwise? Must have been a sorcerer, huh? Wasn't?
Just an ordinary man with a gift of the Holy Spirit? Gift, not demon posessed? Yeah, I used to teach all gifts of the
spirit were demonic. Ha ha. Kept
them out of tarot cards!!! Except
for the ones I... Oh never mind.
"So you're telling me that fourteen years later she had
posttraumatic stress disorder because all her feelings came out when she began
grieving for the brethren who shunned her?
Like they all died at once? Too
much grief? Triggered her own
personal grief from the past that she didn't deal with because she went into
Worldwide for the next fourteen years? So? What's your point?
"So you're blaming me because if it hadn't been for my articles
against interracial marriage the fact that you have native American blood as
well as French blood, wouldn't
have mattered and she would have married you?
Then you'd have been together and the likelyhood of your death would
have been less. So your saying
its MY fault? Am I supposed to care? Callous? No feelings? I do too have feelings!!! I feel like
BARFING from your SOB STORY!!! So
you weren't blaming me? Just
checking me out? Now you know
what she's been through? Lots of
people lost love ones because of me? You've
forgiven me? Doesn't matter
anymore? God's plan so vast that
lifetimes on earth are just a small part of the picture. You'll be together again? Love never dies? The only thing we
take with us besides our knowlege and spiritual growth... or deficit like in
MY CASE??
Going back to your plane? Yeah,
wish I could go back to mine, but I can't find it. Was a nice jet too. Bought it with tithe money, yeah. Part of it belonged to Patti? And all the brethren? They never got to ride in it??? So what's that got to do with
anything? Oh, you're just
pointing out a few realities? A
few realities I never gave a damn about, 'bucky boy'. Say where'd he go? Just vanished!!! Damn Indian! Savage!
Pagan!
"Whadda ya mean I'm the real SAVAGE? And who, pray tell, are you with your skin the color of
molasses? Name's Mahatma Gandi? Did I ever have my picture taken with
you? You don't remember? Wouldn't
have wasted your time? Had more
important things to do? Helped
your people in India march peacefully against the British rule? Now you want to help influence those on earth under mind
control so they can find peace in their hearts and not waste feeling bitter
towards me? What would they find
to be bitter about, Matma...? Mafa...? Moo
Moo??? Or whatever the hell your
name is? Oh, like you said in the
first place I'm the savage? Nice
guy! And YOUR mother eats SACRED
COWS!!!! Ha ha ha No self respecting PAGAN would have
anything to do with the likes of me? Pagan
is a good way to go? What ROCK
you been sleep under, Moo Moo??? Insolent? Insidious? INSULTING if you ask ME? Didn't ask, but I'm that too?
Mr. Molasses has SPOKEN! So
it must be so!!! Damn ugly...
Watch my mouth or I'll find myself incarcerated? And who says so? You again, Jesus Christ!!! Sure are
some weirdos here..."
to be continued...
================
The
Adventures of HWA
"On
the Other Side" 20
by Patti L.
(c) 2000
"Harumph!!! Can't
find my jet. Nobody likes me. I don't get no respect! Get called a Warthog... just because
I'm short. I'm not THAT short...
That's NOT what the 'W' in my name stands for.
Just being victimized by all these holier than thou SAINTS! What a bummer! I just want to find my jet and go back to Pasadena. There is NO ESCAPE? Someone once told YOU that? And who are you? No saint? The Quicksilver?
What the hell is a 'quicksilver'?
Oh I get it!! Mr. Mercury
Man! Ha ha. Just having a routine nightmare? Oh, friend of that damn Patti ? Oh, not a friend, she doesn't like you
any more than she likes me? This
should be interesting. So why'd
you come here in your dreamtime? Bored? Oh, I get it! Looking for a little excitement, huh? Checking me out? Heard
all about me from 'HER'? All that
Bible bullshit? Hey Mr. Quick,
that's not nice to disrespect the Bible.
After all, that is God's truth, you know. You don't know? Oh, so tell me about it.
"So you're telling me the Old Testament was done away? It was pre-empted by the New
Testament, according to the Christian church fathers who geared the writing
toward that end? So you're
telling me that Bible thumping isn't your bag?
You're a hippie from the sixties.
Yeah, you look like a hippie with your tie-dyed shirt and long blond
hair and beard? Ever shave? You know God doesn't like long hair. Bullshit you say? So what difference does hair length
have to do with anything? I made it a major doctrine?
Sure. You know how it is
when you want to control the masses. Have
to create a creed for them to follow. Have
to get them to OBEY all the rules. If
they don't obey the little things, you know you can't get them to obey the BIG
STUFF, like tithe paying, heh heh...
"Energy? Everything
is energy!? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I've heard that countless times since I've been in this place. I exuuuuuude negative energy? Like a big fat dust bunny?
Harumph!!! So you travel between the various planes in your spirit? Who the hell are you? Some kind of demon? You've been called worse? So what do you want with me, Mr.
Mercury? Had to check me out? Had to see why that Patti was having
such a hard time understanding the psychic energy stuff you tried to explain
to her? Mind control? She trusted
me implicitly and then the rug was pulled out from under her? Was a true believer? Totally dedicated to my stupid
organization? Was her whole life? Then when she was unceremoniously
forced out the mind control began to crumble?
Like she steped off the edge of a cliff and there was nothing under her
feet? Brain warp? Had to Unlearn
everything I taught her through my stupid organization? She threw it ALL OUT and started over
with NOTHING? An empty slate? Now you understand why she had to know EVERYTHING! She couldn't stand any more LIES and
DECEIT. That's why you and her
don't get along anymore? You lied
to her? She got your number too? Borrowed money and promised to pay her
back and never did? Dumb sheep,
that one. Believes anything you
tell her... ha ha ha, I see...
"So about the Old Testament being done away. What's your version of it Mr.
Quicksilver? Oh, you took care of
that in your out house? So what's
an out house? A two seater? Never heard of such a thing!!! That's
where your Bible was located? Your
so-called 'study'? Oh, I see... And that's where your version of the Old
Testament was 'done away' a page at a time?
I should think about that? So Mr. Quick, since you came to see me, you
wanna do lunch? I'll buy the pork
chops! You're a vegetarian? Won't eat that crap? Won't put dead animals in your body? So you wanna go for pancakes then
instead? No appetite while you're
sleeping? Have places to go and
things to do that are INTERESTING? Not
impressed with the likes of me? I
should meet the ROOSTER? What the
HELL is the ROOSTER??? Somebody
who has something to crow about? Used
to be your friend? Got your
number too? So how do I meet him?
"You don't look much like a rooster! Where's your BEAK? heh,
heh, heh!!! A nick name because
of your spiked blond hair? Of
course you KNOW you need a haircut!!! I
am NOT your OUTSIDE AUTHORITY? So
why are you here? Having a
nightmare? Patti told you all
about me and you're here to check me out?
So what do you see, Mr. Beakless Rooster? And why do you think I would take my
precious time to talk to the likes of you??
I never even heard of that damn Patti until she came here in her
nightmare!!! Oh, she told you how I made off with the tithes of all the
people and used them for luid purposes? $l,500.00
hair cuts!!! Prostitutes on board
my jet!!? Heh, heh!!! Yeah. So what's
your point? Preached that the
'widow's might' would give the dumb sheep a special blessing and all it did
was get spent on my frivilous bullshit! A
waste of your nightmare? You'd
rather dream about something worthwhile, like Nancy? Who the hell is Nancy?
"Nobody I know? So Rooster, the impression I've gotten from all
these dreamtime visits is that I am a pretty popular person! DELUSIONAL? You don't even know me and you call me
delusional? Know my type? So what's that supposed to mean? A petty dictator? Little tyrant? Little Hitler? Not even original, just another
IMPOSTER? How dare you come here,
you miserable BIRD and talk to me THAT WAY!
It's your nightmare and you can dream anything you want? So why do I have to participate? My choice? I didn't have to accept your visit? So I could just go pooft and leave? My EGO couldn't stand to say NO to the
ATTENTION I'm getting from these visits?
I still think I'm some apostle when all I am is an inflated balloon and
you'd like to see me deflated? I'm just a crumb like the rest of you? There's not "GOD" and
"NOT GOD"? And what's
that supposed to mean? What you
crowin' about BIG BIRD? Insulting
you? So? So you're telling me that God is ALL
THERE IS? Bible says God is all
in all, even me? Off the hook,
little man? Part of God? A very very very SMALL small part, unlike my delusional
grandeur? Like a fly speck? Oh, no!! Not THAT again!!! I've heard enough about fly shit to
last me a lifetime? Or THREE you
say? Plenty of lifetimes ahead to
make amends for my depraved ways? Thousands of places to incarnate? You mean like that alien in a Halloween costume was telling
me? He was right on the money? Hey BIRD, where'd you go???
to be continued...
====================
The
Adventures of HWA
"On
the Other Side" 21
by Patti (c) 2000
"Whadda ya mean, I called you?
Halloween man!!! Do I
wanna go see the universe? In
your space ship? I'd rather take
my jet but I've misplaced it temporarily... its not equipped to go where we're
going? Oh... I see. What on earth is that??? Not EARTH?!! I can SEE that! More spectacular than anything I told
my dumb sheep? Lied to them and
told them they'd be rulers of cities and globes and universes... yeah, so
what's your point? These cities
are ruled by God's laws of LOVE? Oh,
how boooooorrring!!! Yeah, I can
see they are something else. Look
like something out of Disneyland! Domes
and stuff... like space city... oh, look, there goes a flying saucer!! Duck!! Heh, heh. No sense of humor Halloweenie!! No sense of humor at all. Better get with the program!!!
"Oh hi there, Bill W. Program? I need your program? Yeah, yeah.... attraction not
promotion, but you couldn't resist reminding me of my alcoholism? Bad habit? Drunk and disorderly conduct? Do YOU HAVE TO tell EVERYONE??? Anonymity? Never talked to anyone else about it
but me? I never heard of THAT
concept... true.
"Just because I liked a few drinks now and then, he calls me an
alcoholic. Yeah, I guess it was
written about in that damn book, the one about my so-called tangled web. Damn ministers ratted on me! Tattle tales!! NO I DID NOT CALL YOU, ROBINSON! But now that you're here I have a bone
to pick with you!!! You know all
about my habit of eating pork chops even though I wouldn't let my followers
eat them? So? You wouldn't pick any bones with me
because you can't stomach me? Oh,
you and whose army, Robinson? Won't
qualify that with an answer? Disgusted? Going back to your own plane? You too, huh? Guess I'm stuck here all alone. Where'd Halloweenie go? Oh, we're back home? Can't take someone as bigoted as me to
other civilizations because my vibrations cause the people to get sick? You some friend of that damn
Quicksilver? You've spent some
time together? Visit other
civilizations together? Don't
like him much either, but at least he wears bright colored shirts? Better than my drab garb? So what's wrong with my bathrobe,
buddy?
"No dignity? No
class? So who are you to judge
me? Not judging? Just observing? Had to come to this plane anyway to visit me
to see if I've learned anything yet? Now
you understand why I'm still here after all these years? Enjoying visiting on your own plane
with John Trechak? He come with
you? So where is he then?
"Hey there, John! How
the hell are you? Been feeling
great living in your own vibrational environment? Not healthy spending so much time on
the LOWER LEVEL HERE? Save the
insults, John. Stop laughing. You'll buy me a pork chop supper? Hey man, that's the best offer I've had in a long time! So lets go eat!! First you have to give Joe Tkach a message? He's gained three points towards his
exoneration? Only has
9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,003 points left to regain
his status and move on up? You're
going to celebrate by taking him along for pork chops? How sweet it is, John! How sweet it is!!! Have I gained any points yet, John? Not a joke!!! Stop laughing! Damn you, John!!! I
was just asking a simple question! Haven't
had a good laugh since last time you ran into me? Shut up, John! Just
shut up! Forget the pork chops? Lots of CROW to eat!!? Damn you, John.
"Whadda ya mean I'm all washed up? I haven't had a shower yet, John! Figure of speech? Have
to get dressed up for my evening with you?
Didn't think you were still going to take me along, John, after all the
insults... Not insults? Truth
hurts? You've been exposing me
for so long that you forgot what a bigoted arrogant hypocrite I am? Whadda ya mean, John? I thought we were starting to become
friends? A cold day in hell?
"Some 'friend'!!! I
wish I could just fly outta here on my jet... No place like home... I'm really
sick of this place... but hell, if he's buying the pork chops, I'll take a
shower and get dressed! Always
did enjoy a free ride! I mean
meal... and if he's sucker enough to buy, I'll take him up on the offer, heh,
heh...
"Yeah, I'm ready now, John.
Do I have my wallet along? I'm
buying? Whadda ya mean I'm
buying? I lived off other people
long enough and now its payback time? Damn
you John! Who made you my judge? Not a judgment? Just the facts, man? The
plain truth? Of COURSE I've heard
of the PLAIN TRUTH, John! I
invented it!!!
"Burp! Not bad pork
chops, John. At least the shrimp
salad was fresh. Nothing worse
than stale shrimp. Whadda ya
mean, I should know that for a fact? I
just don't get it John. John? Where the hell did he go?
One minute he's here and the next... he's laying in the tulip patch
again, flattening the tulips. Tiny
Tim is going to have a fit! John? Stop laughing John!! You shouldn't laugh on a full
stomach... John? Damn fool is
going to explode if he doesn't stop his hysterics! I don't have a clue whats so funny. Hey Joe? Whats he laughing about? Stale shrimp? Go look in the mirror?
"I wish Herman and Stanley were here with me and I wouldn't even
mind listening to that damn Gerald... well, almost. These holy rollers are making me crazy! Now I have to pay for the pork chops! And no tithe money coming in anymore... how do they expect me
to keep up this generosity? It
goes against my spirit! Not to
mention my pocket book. Maybe
I'll have to see if Loma will cook for me from now on... then I wouldn't have
to foot the bill... Oh hi there, Loma. Who's
that man with you? Your
boyfriend? How DARE you betray
our marriage vows, woman? Don't
you know I AM YOUR HUSBAND? Whadda
ya mean NOT ANY MORE? Whadda ya
mean 'till death do us part' and we are now 'parted'? I was just going to come over for
lunch tomorrow so we could visit... Not interested in seeing me anymore? Too difficult to come to THIS LEVEL? Not YOU TOO??? Lowered yourself to
come here... Yeah, yeah, yeah....
VIBRATION... NOT INTEGRITY!!! Damn it! No damn respect. I
don't get no respect. And now my WIFE has a new boyfriend! Damn women!!! Daughters
of EVE!!!! Whadda ya mean what
about all the WOMEN I had after you came here?
Loma, I would never betray you... You KNOW that... Whadda ya mean I'm
full of bullshit? My middle name
is bullshit??? Shit. Thats even worse than warthog...
to be continuted...
===============================================
The
Adventures of HWA
"On
the Other Side" 22
by Patti (c) 2000
"Damn WOMEN!!! Can't
use them HERE! Too Damned
smart!!! I'll have to see who I
can con into padding my wallet... No damn privacy either... Who are you? How come there are so many of you women here? Whadda ya want with me? Oh, so you're the widows from the
Worldwide Church of God... yeah... so whadda ya want? Came here to confront me about
exploiting you for all your money? Took
what little you had away, and then squandered it? Yeah, so? What's your point, ladies? I wasn't the one who signed over your
property to the church... had my ministers do that. Talk to them, not ME. Not interested in talking to them...
they were taking orders from me... oh... just taking orders, heh, heh, heh...
trained them well, did I? Heh,
heh... yeah, so the Bible says we should leave an inheritance to our children,
and you think I stole their inheritance?
Stole their childhoods too? Promoted
child abuse?
"Hey, get off it, ladies! You
KNOW I'm God's apostle and that you are subjected to HIS LAW!!! And if THAT
LAW says that you are to GIVE EVERYTHING you own to HIS CHURCH, then you must
OBEY!!!! So you OBEYED God's law. What does that have to do with me? Not God's law? Herbert W. Armstrong's LAW? Heh, heh... Worked, didn't it? And TAKE OFF THAT LIPSTICK!!! You look like a WHORE!!! Mother of HARLOTS!!! Jezebel!!! Another FALSE LAW? Heh, heh... the old hag! She thinks a little lipstick is going
to make her look decent... what a dope. What
a dumb sheep! Makes my day!! All
these stupid women JUMP when I speak... heh, heh. I really ENJOY THAT!!! Makes me feel POWERFUL... was starting
to feel dejected... now I've had my 'fix' for the day... heh heh...
"Whadda ya mean APOLOGIZE?
To whom? Those women? You've got to be KIDDING, Jesus
Christ!!! I'm not the least bit
sorry. I will be eventually and
will WANT TO MAKE AMENDS to EVERYONE I OFFENDED? Sure, J.C. Sure...
heh, heh... Whatever you say, J.C. ... fat chance.. heh heh...
"You're going to enroll me in a film series? Oh, just the films of the families I
broke up with my stupid doctrines? Oh,
this ought to be good... turned husbands and wives against each other? Created a mini-cult in every
household? Set the men up to be
little tin gods like me and rule over their wives and children mercilessly? Yeah... so what's your point?
Gave men license to abuse their families? Children and wives were subjected to physical, spiritual, and
emotional abuses because of me? So
you telling me that it is NOT appropriate for a man to RULE HIS ROOST? Oh, so that's EXACTLY what you're
telling me, that it is not acceptable for men to dominate women? The PATRIARCHY IS DEAD? Long live the Shekinah? HER AGAIN? Do I have to listen about HER? I can't stand it!!! I just CAN'T STAND IT!!!
"My doctrines forbidding divorce forced women to stay in abusive
marriages and there was no escape for them or their children? So?
They didn't deserve to have it any better, the damn whores! Not whores? Gotta change my attitude? Women are created in the image and
likeness of God, just as men are? God
androgenous?? Both male and female aspects are Godly? I CAN'T STAND IT!!!! I
CAN'T LISTEN ANYMORE!!! lET ME
OUT OF HERE!!!
"I'm not leaving? Have
nowhere to go? Jet was SOLD? Guess who got the money? Lives high off the hog, just like I
did? Had a "good"
teacher! Both me and Joe? Where is Joe, anyway? Maybe we can go to supper. Hey, Joe... where are you? Won't answer? On a mission back to earth to try to influence him? Fat chance, you say? A chip off the old block?
"All I wanna do is take a little trip... maybe to Thailand, or
Taiwan... like those little Asian women because they're so submissive... but
no, can't have my jet... says its gone... sold... I just don't like it here...
so many people bugging me... have to pay my own way... take responsibility
J.C. says... Never did that before... don't want to now... wish I had a Jack
Daniels... just wish I.... Pity
pot? You again? Telling me I need a meeting? Where's the meeting? In the basement of Ambassador
Auditorium? Just kidding? Not FUNNY!!! Not funny at all Bill. You'll take me there if I promise to behave myself? Oh, I suppose I'll go. Nothing to do here anyway except
listen to these damn women whine!
"Powerless? Me? Powerless over ALCOHOL? First step? LAST STEP folks!!! I'm outta here!!! I AM NOT POWERLESS!!!! I have ABSOLUTE CONTROL!!! I am GOD'S APOSTLE!!! I HAVE ALL THE POWER!!!
"Whadda ya mean Jesus Christ, that I'm a pitiful little impotent
man? I am NOT IMPOTENT!! Remember, J.C. I had implants to
insure that I was NOT IMPOTENT!!! You're
not talking about sexual impotency? What
other kind of impotency is there? I
have no POWER here? Can't push my
way around like I did throughout my life on earth? Have to break my EGO? My EGO runs ME? Has absolute control over ME? I am POWERLESS and ADDICTED to power
and control, among other things? Whatever
a person is addicted to in their lifetime on earth, they carry over and have
to deal with it here? I have many
addictions I will have to overcome? So
tell me, Jesus Christ, what are MY addictions?
"Had to ask, didn't I... Says I'm addicted to alcohol, sex, my
penis, religion, the Bible, totalitarianism, dictatorship, power, money,
wealth, material possessions, women... damn women..., authority wielding, and
writing booklets, to name a few things. Says
that here I don't have access to a typewriter, so I can't pollute this plane
with my prolific writings... doesn't appreciate my twisting the scriptures to
say what I wanted them to say... even if they misquoted him... it was closer
to what he said than what I said he said...
"Stewing? Who's
asking? Oh its the Rooster...
Look out or I'll throw you in the stew pot, heh, heh... Having another
nightmare? You're glad J.C. is
putting the TRUTH in my face and confronting me with it? Its your job to CROW and wake people
up, but in my case it'll take more than a ROOSTER? The BIG GUNS? Jesus Christ has his hands full? There really is NO ESCAPE?... is
there?
to be continued...
======================The
Adventures of HWA
"On
the Other Side" 23
by Patti (c) 2000
"IDOLATRY? Whadda
ya mean I am the EPITOME of IDOLATRY? That
I set people up to worship ME instead of God?
That I transferred their worship, love and devotion from God to myself,
and then abused the hell out of them? Used
this position of authority AS GOD to beat the hell out of them spiritually. Spiritually RAPED them, like I raped
my daughter!? Have to throw THAT
in my face again too, don't you, Jesus Christ?
Because you want me to admit to my insidious behavior? Because I seduced all of my followers? Because I had incest with all of my
followers by setting myself up as 'the father' God figure, and then raping the
hell out of all of them, and exploiting them to the fullest? By putting myself in the position of
authority I became their 'god' and they dutifully snapped into submission
through my use of mind control techniques developed by the Nazis... yeah,
yeah, yeah, heard this all before, J.C., so are you trying to make a new
point?
"So you're telling me that by hiding behind closed doors and
lying about the rape of my daughter when the hotel manager heard her cries for
help, and telling him that my 'bride' was a bit shy, is like I'm doing now,
hiding behind my delusions, refusing to face the TRUTH of my activities as
Pastor General and Founder of the Worldwide Church of God? That I am in CONTEMPT for using God's name, for claiming my
'church' was a real church of God, and being "GOD" to all these
people, I am guilty of idoltry in the worst sense of the word, plus I'm guilty
of seduction, rape and betrayal of all of my followers? You're serious, J.C.? Oh, DAMNED SERIOUS!
"No laughing matter? God
takes issue with anyone who deceives his 'little ones'? Those dumb sheep you're talking about
now, right? Shut up? Now, now, J.C.... watch your
manners!!! Your patience is
wearing thin? And you think mine
isn't? ...for once I don't
matter? For once my EGO is being
FORCED to listen... for once all of CREATION is going to learn about me and my
TRUE CHARACTER... OR LACK THEREOF?
"Once and FOR ALL TIME? The
likes of me is going to be exposed? And
those like me? My evangelists? Ministers? Deacons? Many of them were just on power trips
like me? So tell me something I don't know... I used to see them
squirm when they thought I was displeased with them... used to like to watch
them grovel for their positions...and kiss ass for every minute promotion up
the ladder... STOP REMINISCING ? Not
something to take pride in?
"You're giving David Robinson a promotion here for writing that
book, "Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web"? Deserves a promotion for telling it like it is? Exposes some of my cronies too? Yeah, I knew that. Had it banned in Tulsa, remember? Oh, you DO remember! Public
information now... everybody should read it?
You would like to promote it as much as I promoted the book,
"Babylon Mystery Religion" by Ralph Woodrow in order to destroy
people's beliefs in standard Christian holy days and holidays... heh, heh...
worked! Didn't it!!! Not wrong to expose TRUTH in ANY form. Woodrow's book a terrific example of
exposing origins of FALICIES? You
saying you approve, J.C.? You
approve of TRUTH. JUST THE FACTS,
oh I see..."You approve of Woodrow's book, but NOT how I used it to twist
everything? I took away the myth
people believed about the origins of the Christian religion and then replaced
them with even more absurd dogma... yeah, so what's your point? Exasperated? You, J.C. are becoming exasperated? NOT BECOMING... already frustrated
beyond... the call of duty? Guess
you and I are not compatible? Huh,
J.C. Where'd he go? On vacation? Just like THAT???
"And who -- prey tell -- are you?
The BIG BAD WOLF? Names
aren't important here? Have work
to do? You're going to show me
the catagory I fall into, in the book of life?
Right up there with Jim Jones, David Koresh, to name a few... not very
popular? Others like me still on
earth... Jim Bakker, Tammy Faye the queen of eye make-up Bakker, and the list
goes on and on... so? What's your
point, "what's your name"? Oh,
your point is that FALSEHOODS created in the name of religion, in the name of
GOD are in fact an ABOMINATION to the REAL GOD... and only God is capable of
purity in TRUTH and has dispersed the TRUTH throughout the ages to ALL of
creation? Just here on earth MEN
got so egotistical as to replace God's truth with their own and make a total
mockery out of it all... So You're telling me that SPIRITUALITY has NOTHING to do with most of the
world's religions? They are
basically man made rules? Some
reflect some of God's truth, but many are made up of the LAWS OF MEN...
yeah... I figured that out in my six month in-depth study of the Bible at the
library back in the days when I was just getting started... right after the
mud pack era... Oh you're not interested in hearing about me selling mud as a
beauty product for women's vanity to be nurtured? Oh... heh heh... I thought it was a
great idea!! Shut up?
"You're telling me that true spirituality can be found in
simplicity like the twelve steps Bill W. created in his Alcoholics Anonymous
program? So what are those steps,
"what's your name"? Yeah...
I really want to hear them! To
see if I could have done a better job of creating God's one true church on
planet earth... Pay attention? Stop
my delusions? NOT
God's true church? Listen
for a change? Admitted we were
powerless? Came to believe in a
power greater than ourselves that could restore us to sanity? Turn our lives over to God? Made a
searching and fearless MORAL INVENTORY of OURSELVES? Admitted to God, self and another the
exact nature of our wrongs? Ready
to remove these defects of character? HUMBLY???? asked God to remove our
shortcomings? You've GOT to be KIDDING!!!
Ha ha!!! NOT KIDDING? Shut UP? Ok.
I'll listen... Made a list of ALL PERSONS we had harmed and became
willing to make amends? Not a
long enough bolt in the whole industry of paper making to make a list long
enough for my list of people I've harmed?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.... so what else?
Make amends to them all? Keep
taking personal inventory and ADMIT when we are wrong? Fat chance, bub! Fat chance I'll ever admit to
anything!!! Shut UP? Oh... I forgot... heh, heh... Sought
through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God... as
we understood HIM... see what did I tell you, bub, GOD IS A HIM... even in
this SPIRITUAL program ... heh heh...Shut up or you'll get the duck tape... Ok...what's the rest? Pray ONLY for HIS WILL for us and the
power to carry that out? Having
had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, carry this message and
practice these principles? Whew! What an order!!!
to be continued...
================
The
Adventures of HWA
"On
the Other Side" 24
by Patti (c) 2000
"So here I am under the bed with the REAL dust bunnies! No way am I going to anymore of those
damned meetings! No way am I
going to get SPIRITUAL! No way am
I going to admit to being POWERLESS!!!! IAM
NOT POWERLESS!!! I AM HERBERT W. ARMSTRONG, GOD'S ONE AND ONLY 20TH CENTURY
APOSTLE!!! Whadda ya mean its not
the 20th century anymore? Ancient
history? Have I been here THAT
long? Long enough to have begun
to accept the changes I'm expected to make here? Not doing so well? So who says? Oh, YOU AGAIN, Jesus Christ!! By now I should recognize your voice,
but I'm too preoccupied with myself to observe other people? So here we go again? Another damned meeting? Other plans for today? Time to visit earth? And other realms? Oh boy, I can hardly
wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
"Where are we, J.C.? Whadda
ya mean this USED TO BE Ambassador College Campus? Whadda ya mean this USED TO BE
Ambassador Auditorium? Times have
changed? No longer associated
with the Worldwide Church of God? Where
are we now, J.C.? This doesn't
look familiar? Who are those people, J.C.?
Followers of Geralds? They
still worship the ground I walked on? Hey,
man, THAT'S GREAT!!! Not great? Still deceived? Still worshipping in vain?
Oppressed people? Can't
wear make-up? Can't go to
doctors? Still living in the
time-warp I created? Still
responsible for all of them? Who
me? You're holding me responsible even though I'm NOT THEIR
PASTOR GENERAL? Oh, you are...
"Do I know what happens to people from living under this kind of
oppression? No. Can't say that I ever gave it a
thought, J.C. No doubt you're
going to tell me, huh? By making
them focus on "The World Tomorrow" instead of today, they lose their
will to live? Their bodies become
diseased? Tomorrow never comes,
and they are not living a healthy life, 'one day at a time'...? Instead of being present in the
moment, they are 'enduring 'till the end' like I commanded them to do? Enduring is not a healthy way to live? Bare survival mode? Extreme stress? Causes them to wear out... live a
miserable existance? And when
they find out it was all a hoax it gets worse?
Disillusionment causes them to lose hope? Hopelessness causes depression? Hopeless helplessness causes dispair? I've rendered them hopeless and
helpless? You calling me
responsible for all their woes? Aren't
they on their pity pots, J.C.?
"Boy, was HE ever PISSED OFF AT ME!!!! Can't even ask a simple question and he gets mad! How come people can tell me I'm on MY
pity pot when I'm feeling sorry for myself, but when somebody else does it,
its all MY FAULT? Its not FAIR!!! Its just NOT FAIR!!!
"Oh, you're BACK! J.C.! Not your favorite assignment? You mean you take orders too? Heh, heh... Time for us to go out for
supper? Hey, that's great! I'm starving! All that reminiscing makes me hungry! This is a great place to eat!!! John Trechak took me here a few times. Great pork chops! Sure I'll have some more. Mmmmmm these are good! Do I want to sprinkle on some pepper? Pepper you ask? What the hell do I want with more damn pepper? I suppose you want me to sit here and
sort it out from all the fly shit!! I can't stand it!! I just can't stand it!!
Oh... this is already sorted? Just
asked if I liked flavoring on my pork chops?
Nothing to go ballistic about? Stop
laughing. Damn it, stop
laughing!!!
"Something you want to talk to me about? Now what? Free
will... huh? So what about it,
J.C.? God gave us all free will
as a gift? We are to treasure
this gift? Yeah? So?
By my dictatorship as Pastor General of the Worldwide Church of God I implicitly told people WHAT TO
THINK, depriving them of their ability TO THINK? Oh?
So what's your point, J.C.? Your
POINT is that I deprived them of their God-given gift of free will? Don't you mean they gave me their
wills, J.C.? No? By my constant demands to adhere to my
doctrines, I essentially took away their ability to think for themselves and
made them dependant on me and my ministry, like little children? Yeah, so that was the whole idea,
J.C., to get them to SUBMIT! By
doing so, I deprived them of a gift God gave to them, and now I'm responsible
for all the misery their subjugation caused?
Broke their spirit? Broke
their will? Trained them like
Pavlov's dogs? Yeah... they did
salivate when I talked about how great it was going to be in the world
tomorrow!!! Really got them
going!!!
"Do I know what happened to Pavlov's dogs when he changed the
rules? Sure, some of them went
berserk! So what's your point,
J.C.? When I changed my doctrines
back and forth like the make-up doctrine, on again, off again, I created chaos
and cognitive dissonance? What
the hell is cognitive dissonance??? Its
psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs held
simultaneously... according to Webster's dictionary??? Yeah, so I told them that psychology
of this world was NOT God's way
and forbid them to go to psychologists! That's
another matter altogether? Cognitive
dissonance caused constant inner conflict?
Do this, don't do that...yeah? So? So many DOs and so many DON'Ts jam up
their brain's computer program? Conflicting
messages? Stifles them
completely? Shuts them down
eventually? Some go crazy... some
just SNAP? Some walk around like
zombies... like Joe's wife? Oh...
Now I get it, J.C. Damned if you do! Damned
if you don't! Something like
that?
"Do I realize the severity of all this? All WHAT, J.C.? Do
I realize how many thousands of people both living on earth and on the other
side that are still dealing with the effects of the mind control that I
inflicted upon them? Many will go
to their grave never being able to recover?
And even once they are here, they will have to be re-educated and
healed of their afflictions? Some
are still asleep, believing that they have to sleep when they come here, for a
thousand years, while they wait for YOU to return to earth? They bought all that, did they, J.C.? They're sleeping? Where?
Oh... I see some of them in that dormitory... looks like angels
ministering to them, watching over them.
Boy they really look angelic!! I
always told my followers that all spirit beings were demons! Those angels don't look like demons! They're not? Nursing the injured spirits? Soothing their miseries? Gently helping them to wake up from
their sleep, so they can move on? Their
disillusionment is difficult sometimes because they believed I was going to be
there to help them set up God's kingdom after the resurrection, and they look
for me? But, I'm here, J.C.! What about that? I can't GET TO THEM? Can
only see the damage I've done? Oh...
to be continued...
====================
The
Adventures of HWA
"On
the Other Side" 25
by Patti (c) 2000
"So you're telling me, J.C. that I left them brused and
bleeding, brow beaten and robbed of their life-giving spirit... Huh? A pretty big accusation, J.C., even
for you!! Not an accusation? Only a matter of fact? The TRUTH I S THE TRUTH!!! Yeah, that's what I used to say!!! But I called it the PLAIN TRUTH!!! Shut UP? Boy, are you in a BAD MOOD!!! I ain't seen nothin' yet? Geeeeeze already, J.C.!!
"Yeah, I told them they couldn't go to 'worldly' psychologists
or psychiatrists!!! That's what
the ministry was for, to go to them for whatever problems they had!!! Didn't train the ministry for that? Of course not! They were trained to handle problems with interrogation to
get at the root of the SIN!!! You
KNOW, J.C. that the WAGES of SIN.... A bunch of bullshit? How can you say that? Truth?
So you're telling me that sin is OK?
Oh that's NOT what you meant? Sin
is the wrong terminology? Huh? Now what the hell are you talking
about? You're confusing me!!! Any time a person breaks a physical
law or spiritual law, it creates a result?
Yeah... that's what I told 'em... REALLY!!! But you're saying that this means to maintain good health one
must eat the healthy foods... to maintain mental health one must live in a
healthy environment... to maintain spiritual health one must be in close
personal communication with God... NOT A MIDDLE MAN? So NOW I'M A MIDDLE MAN????
Not a middle man? A middle
man would be someone who was a liaison, a go-between? I was an IMPOSTER? Put myself in place of God? Set myself up
as total authority AS IF I was God... yeah, so what's your point, J.C.?
"Your point is that because of my interrogations, harangues, and
assaults on people, that I caused them to SNAP and become totally dependant
upon me and my ministers? Yeah...
that was the whole idea, J.C. Break
them down! Get rid of their
rebelliousness! Whadda ya mean
there is a difference between rebelliousness and free God-given will? God did not require them to be
absolutely submissive... so why should I think I could do that? Because how else would I get them to OBEY ME? Your
whole point is that I was WRONG to demand their obedience? Oh... I get the point.
"First time for everything?
No business getting between people and God? An abomination to God. She's
really pissed???? She who? She God? Damn! I don't
like the sound of this, J.C. I
usurped God's place thinking he was a he, and now you're telling me she is a
she? Stop laughing!!! Damn it!!!
Stop laughing, J.C. It isn't one
bit funny, you sigging a SHE-GOD on me!
"What the hell are you doing here again, John Trechak? Stop laughing at me! Came to relieve Jesus Christ of his
duties, so he can take a break to get his batteries recharged? Oh, so now I have to put up with your
miserable sense of humor too? I'm
sick and tired of J.C. and his damn SHE-GOD and so now he brings you back to
haunt me some more! Damn it!!! All I want to do is find my jet and
get the hell outta here! This
damn place is giving me a complex!!! Stop
deluding myself? No jet here...! Yeah, I know!!! I'd be back on earth in a heart beat if I could escape!!! Yeah, I've already been told by some
freaky hippy that THERE IS NO ESCAPE!!!!
And J.C. has seen to it that I get to see all of the miserable dumb
sheep brethren that I screwed one way or another... I'm sick of it all... sick
of it all... dammit John, isn't there anything else I can do or place to go
where I can distract myself from all this hell?
I shouldda thought of that a long time ago? So now you're my conscience, John? Just tellin' the truth... yeah, yeah,
yeah...
"NO!!! I don't want
to go to any damn meetings! I
don't want to be here! I don't want YOU around!
I don't want... Whadda ya
mean what I WANT doesn't matter anymore?
Yes it does, John. It
matters a LOT. Not to anyone but
me?? Here it doesn't matter? All that matters here is GOD'S WILL? Oh shit.
"Whadda ya mean that for the first time in my miserable life I
have to STOP and LEARN SOMETHING from other people, including YOU!!!??? You've volunteered to help me because
you KNOW ALL ABOUT ME from investigating me for the Ambassador Report all
those years? Well, what are you
looking for, a medal? No reward? Just would like to see some change for
the better? Won't hold your
breath?
"So now you want to remind me of some more crap that I pulled? Wouldn't put it THAT way? Whadda ya mean it was bad enough what
I did to the adults, by misleading them, but a thousand times worse for the
children? Because they never had
a basis of REALITY to go back to? Grew
up on MISINFORMATION? Their
foundation was not established before they were inundated with my bullshit? So their foundation is made of
BULLSHIT? As a result they grow up abused, battered children, broken in
spirit? So, John, isn't that the
point? To break their spirit so
they'll obey? Not what God
intended? God intended the human
spirit to flourish? Love,
guidance, and an abundance of positive attention builds healthy self-esteem in
children?? Worldwide church of
God children grow up with low self-esteem, broken spirits, a hole in their
soul that leads to addictions and a lifetime of trying to fill the insatiable
void? So isn't that normal, John? John?
Whadda you blubbering about John?
What a sap! Tears running
down your face like a damn fool!!!
"What the hell do you mean that EMOTIONS are a GOD-GIVEN GIFT? Are you TOTALLY CRAZY, John?
Go check out the book of Genesis?
In their image created he them? Made
in the image and likeness of God, including emotions? NO SHIT, John! You believe its ok for MEN to be emotional? It is obviously a WOMAN'S WEAKNESS
that she is EMOTIONAL!! I spent
my entire career preaching how weak those emotional women are, and now your
telling me MEN can cry? You're
NUTS, John. Just plain nuts!!! What a damn wimp. Crying
like a baby! Here's my
handkerchief! Mop up your damn
tears!!!
Whadda ya mean, GO TO HELL??? John? John?
Where the hell did he disappear to? Oh the hell with him! I'm sick of him and his self-righteous
attitude! I'm hungry. Time for some scrumptious pork chops! Yum... yum!!!
to be continued...
=====================
The
Adventures of HWA
"On
the Other Side" 26
by Patti (c) 2000
"Mmmmmmm!!!! Sure
love those pork chops!!! I can
hardly believe that my followers actually lived according to the Levitical 23
law of clean meats all those years while I enjoyed my delicious pork chops! They never knew I went out dancing on
Friday nights either because they were all home on the 'Sabbath', heh heh...
funny they never wondered why I didn't make them keep ALL the Jewish holy
days... heh heh... like Purim. Didn't
figure I could get them to pay their holy day offerings for the commemoration
of delivering the Jews from being massacred by Haman, since after all, MINE
was a Christian church, NOT a Jewish church.
Oh well... I managed to have enough holy days to collect lots of
offerings anyway. Yeah, it was a
good plan I had... I could advertise the FREE LITERATURE to the whole world
and tell them I'd never require money from the public, and all the while
squeeze the pockets and pocket books of all my devotees... heh, heh... worked like a charm...
"Whadda ya mean interesting line of thought, Jesus Christ? EVESdropping on ME AGAIN I see!! Don't I get ANY privacy here? I don't? Every thought? Every word? Censored!!? Damn!
Can't even talk to myself anymore without getting in trouble! Not in trouble? You already knew all about how I used
the Jewish holy days to exploit innocent people who were seeking to do God's
will? Just misguided folks, most
of them... yeah. Except for the
ones like me? You mean to say
there are others LIKE ME? I
taught them well? Created a whole
lots of big ripples? Oh yeah. I remember. We talked about this before. So now what, J.C.? Do I get to do some fun stuff? I don't? Had my fun on earth? Now its time to repent for REAL? You serious? You really are serious, J.C.? I can start by apologizing to John
Trechak for being so callous when he began to cry? After all the shit he has reported on
me you expect me to apologize for one little insident? You do?
John was following the dictates of his heart to expose me and my lies,
when all I was doing was insulting him for having feelings and hurting for my
victims? Geezeeeee, J.C. Whadda ya mean I even chastized my
'brethren' for saying "Geeze" or any reference to you? Yeah, so what? Take my own advise? That or shut up?
"You're going to take me on a little journey? Can we go on my jet? Don't have a jet anymore? This time we fly by the seat of our
pants? Just go in spirit...
invisible... no one will see us? Oh
they will see us? Wow... like ghosts? Really? This sounds like FUN!!! Where are we? Oh, back on earth... who are these people? Hey, J.C., they're real ghosts! Are we going to be ghost bustin'? Not a game! Shut up and listen? Discarnate spirits? Never heard that term before...
demons? Not demons!!!? People who don't realize they are
dead? Wow, never heard of such a
thing before! Some of these
people were in the Worldwide Church of God and were so afraid to die because
they thought they would be oblivious in the grave that they were afraid to go
to the LIGHT when they died? What
the hell does THAT mean? What IS
the LIGHT? Didn't I EVER read the
Bible? You, J.C., are the LIGHT? That part was TRUE? Oh. So these
people wander around earth, not believing they're dead, and are stuck between
planes? Oh. I'm supposed to go talk to them and
tell them its ok to go to the light, that they won't have to sleep in oblivion
for a thousand years? Me? Talk to GHOSTS? S*H*I*T N*O!!!! S*H*I*T Y*E*S you say? Oh Shit!!!
"Greetings to you in the name of Jesus Christ, brethren, my name
is Herbert W. Armstrong and I'm here to...
how does that sound, J.C? It'll
do? Oh, for once I did something
right? For once I found a
"gentle" way to break the news to someone... the plain truth... oh,
had to get that little dig in, huh? Shut
up and get to work? Ok
already.... Greetings....blah
blah blah.... I'm here to inform you that you're dead and its ok to go to the
light because the light is Jesus Christ and he'll lead you to the other side
where you won't be asleep for a thousand years like I preached. Don't believe I'm HIM? Too SHORT? Too FAT? Too OLD? TOO NICE? Now whuddo I do, J.C.? Keep talking? Had enough practice to squirm myself
in and out of many fiascos, this should be a piece of cake? Yeah yeah... Yeah, I'm really him, brethren. I died and ended up on the other side
and found out I was still alive and not in the first resurrection and here I
am trying to make amends... Confusing you?
What the hell is the other side? All
DEMONS there? Boy... I guess I
did really confuse them, J.C. They
don't believe me now.
"Try to word my spiel with a little more finesse? Ask them if they'd like to reunite
with their loved ones who have died? Ask
them if they would like to meet you, J.C.?
Ask them if they ever had a pet that died that they'd like to see
again? Huh? You NUTS? Pets
survive death too? NO SHIT!? Ok, lets see how I can do... Hi folks... remember me? You do, huh? Never saw me in person
but watched 'The World Tomorrow' program faithfully, read the 'Plain Truth',
paid your tithes and holy day offerings... tried to endure to the end... so
folks, would you like to come with me and meet Jesus Christ? You want to know, is this the millennium? Well, yes and no... more yes than
no... its the year 2000 and... no Jesus didn't come back yet... well he's
here... but he's not exactly BACK... confused?
I'll try to explain... if we go towards that bright light over there,
we'll meet up with Jesus Christ and he'll give you the details... and by the
way would you like to see your deceased relatives and maybe your cat or dog? NO I AM NOT A CRAZED DEMON!!! Wouldn't follow me anywhere? Imposter? Don't even look like Herbert W.
Armstrong? He wore expensive suits, not a ratty bathrobe? Get lost?
"Well, there you have it, Jesus Christ! Nobody believes me!!! You'll
give it a try and I should watch? Ok... I'll watch... this autta be good...
Oh my GOD! They're
shrieking and running away!!! Screaming
DEMON at Jesus Christ!!! I can't
BELIEVE it!!! They're
TERRIFIED!!!! He's trying to
explain to them who he IS, but they THINK HE'S A DEMON or SATAN THE
DEVIL!!!!!!! Jesus is CRYING... NO
HE'S SOBBING!!! What's happening? Who are those people???? Oh its Buddah,
Mohammad, Mary Magdalene, his mother Mary and they are surrounding him and
blending in with him... WOW... They are RADIATING BRILLIANT COLORED LIGHT!!!! AWESOME!!!! I can feel the warmth from their
light!!! They are escorting him
away.... they're gone... everybody's gone... I'm
here alone...
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